Archives for posts with tag: gym

It’s time to get serious with my workouts. I’ve got another 15-20 pounds of fat to burn, and I want to burn it off by the end of June. I know I can do it, but I have to work hard to do it. There areĀ  some general rules to keep if I’m to be successful:

1) Weigh, measure, track: every bite and morsel needs to be tracked. I’ll stay within my points, aiming for average days of 1,300 calories.

2) Eat mostly fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans & lentils. Meat, sweets and alcohol will be consumed sparingly.

3) Be dedicated to exercise and strength training. That means running, abdominal work, and getting to the gym daily.

Here’s my workout plan for this week, Week 1:

Sunday
Jog 2 miles (20 minutes)
Legs:

Plie dumbbell squat, 3 sets of 15 reps, 45lb weight
Alternated with Dumbbell lunges, 12 reps, 15lb weights
Leg press, 3 sets of 12 reps, 100lbs
Leg curls (machine), 3 sets of 12 reps, 70lbs, alternating “toe positions”
Standing calf raises, 3 sets of 15 reps, 70lbs

Abs: Day 1

Monday
Jog 2 miles (20 minutes)
Chest, Triceps:

Pushups, 2 sets of 15 reps
Machine bench press, 3 x 12-15*
Incline dumbbell press, 3 x 12-15*
Butterfly machine, 3 x 12-15*
Tricep dips, 3 x 12-15*
Stability ball overhead tricep extensions, dumbbell, 3 x 12-15*

Abs: Day 2

Tuesday
Jog 2 miles (20 minutes)
Back, Biceps:

Prone trunk extensions, 2 x 15
Floor bridges, 2 x 15
Wide-grip lateral pulldown: 3 x 12-15*
Assisted chinups: 3 x 12-15*
One-arm dumbbell row: 3 x 12-15, 20lb weight
Lying T-bar row: 3 x 12-15*
Back extension: 3 x 12-15
Alternating dumbbell curl: 3 x 12-15*

Abs: Day 3

Wednesday
Jog 2 miles (20 minutes)
Shoulders: ….I need to work out this routine.

Abs: Day 4


Thursday

Jog 2 miles (20 minutes)
Legs:

Plie dumbbell squat, 3 sets of 15 reps, 45lb weight
Alternated with Dumbbell lunges, 12 reps, 15lb weights
Leg press, 3 sets of 12 reps, 110lbs
Leg curls (machine), 3 sets of 12 reps, 70lbs, alternating “toe positions”
Standing calf raises, 3 sets of 15 reps, 75lbs

Abs: Day 5

Friday
Meet with Trainer Paul

Abs: Day 6

Saturday
Jog 2 miles (20 minutes)
Depends on what I do on Friday.

Abs: Day 7

I’ve been going to the gym for a whole four-and-a-half months now, so I can speak like an expert about gyms. Well, if I can’t do that, at least I can tell you exactly what to do to be obnoxious. Being obnoxious at the gym is a fun, passive-aggressive way to take out on other people what you wish you could do at work, right?

1. Go lock-free. Who wants to be fettered with a six-ounce lock? They take time to open and are a waste of money. Just throw all your crap in a locker and go. Stack it all up and don’t worry if it falls out when someone opens the locker. Why would they open your locker, anyway? It’s full–they can’t use it!

2. Show off your body. Walk around the locker room naked to air dry. Doesn’t matter if you’re thin or fat–if people don’t want to see your naked body, they don’t have to look at you. Go ahead and do your hair and makeup, then sit down with your bare naked butt somewhere and check your Facebook account.

3. Spray away. Lots of gyms ask members to clean the equipment with some spray cleaner. Even if the sign says “Do not spray cleaner directly on the equipment” go ahead and spray away. Especially on the treadmills where people are breathing deeply. Spray that crap everywhere–work up a good cloud so the machines are nice and clean. Now you’re ready to start exercising!

4. Use the equipment and mats. Use it all. Stockpile medicine balls, dumbbells in all ranges, mats, kettle bells, etc. You never know when you might want to use something and you wouldn’t want to have to wait for someone, would you? Also, if your routine calls for one weight, take both. And hold onto it through your whole work out, even if you only need it once.

5. Talk on your cellphone. You don’t need an explanation, do you?

6. Take 5. Or 15. Grab your smart phone and go rest your muscles. Lay down on a mat and check your messages. When people come in who look likeĀ  they might want to use a mat roll over and pretend to stretch a little. Or, sit on the incline bench/leg press/chest press/etc. and play a game. Breathe heavy every now and then so people know you’re resting.

7. Talk loud, talk proud. Shout out to people you know as they pass by. Start up a conversation with the guy next to you on the elliptical about the game or Kim Kardashian’s booty–speak up so he can hear you over his music. If you came to the gym with someone have a loud raucous discussion telling lots of jokes so you can have big laughs.

8. Let your kids play. If your kid doesn’t want to go to the Kids Club don’t sweat it. Grab a stability ball and let them roll around on it. The rowing machine is a fun time for them. If you have two kids they can play catch with a medicine ball. It’s okay if they’re noisy–they’re having fun!

9. Be disparaging. Talk about how much you hate January and the fat people who show up at the gym after New Years. Be sure to repeat yourself every time a fatty is using a machine and you have to wait for it. Don’t they know they’re just wasting their time?

Someone in the locker room at my In-Shape gym convinced me to go to the spin class this morning at 8:15. I agreed because I’ve been curious about spinning, but have you seen those crazy people in there? They are covered in sweat. Their faces are contorted. They stand up on their bikes and their little legs whir around like blender blades. They are bicycle maniacs.

And this morning I joined them. Just the warm-up alone kicked my ass. Do you know you’re supposed to squat above the seat and pedal at the same time? And then stand up and “jog”. And then sit on the hardest seat ever, spinning your legs and keeping your “watts up.”

It got to a point when I couldn’t go any further. Done. Spent. Wanted to walk out the door. But I didn’t. You know why? Not because I knew I was working towards a goal. Not because it was going to make me healthier. Not because I didn’t want to do the “walk of shame”. The only reason I didn’t stop and walk out the door was because there were about ten people who got turned away because the class was full. How selfish would it have been to take a bike that a real athlete wanted?

I wanted to quit. Instead of quitting, I modified. Instead of standing, I sat. Instead of squatting, I sat. I pedaled hard. I pedaled harder. I sweat. And sweat some more. And I argued with myself. A lot.

“Boy, I thought I was getting into shape. Guess not.”

“This sucks.”

“I can’t do this.”

“I hate this.”

“I’m the only one struggling.”

“They’re all laughing at me.”

“The teacher must think I’m a loser.”

“I’m a loser.”

But I finished. Later I asked the teacher if it would get easier if I kept at it. She said, “It never gets easier. Why would you want it to? You’ll always ramp it up, keep working at it.” And she told me it was okay to modify–that everyone does.

Guess I’ll see how much farther I can get next Saturday.

As I drove over to the gym this afternoon I realized I hadn’t been there in 10 days. All of a sudden doubt crept in. I was scared.

Ten days. Would I have the same strength as before? The stamina? Oh, god. What about the willpower? If I didn’t have strength and stamina, I wasn’t sure I was going to have the willpower to keep going. In fact, I was sure I wouldn’t. I could see myself pooping out of the treadmill early. Doing on one set of reps for my resistance/weight training instead of three. And basically, screwing up a perfectly good workout day.

Instead, I went to one of the classes. It was only 30 minutes. R.I.P.P.E.D. Express. It was a quick jolt of bouncy cardio (during which I just jogged and did high knees for most of the “Zumba” type dance moves) followed by 25 minutes of biceps, triceps, shoulders, squats and planking. I didn’t hate it.

What I did hate was the really horrible music. MC Hammer was the deciding track–I would have stayed for the second 30 minutes of “Abs and Assets” but I just couldn’t stand the loud, awful music. I grabbed my own tunes and hit the treadmill.

30 minutes of The Living End, Alkaline Trio, Me First & the Gimme Gimmes–with a little bit of 60s lounge cha cha music mixed in for fun–and I had a good transition back to the gym.

Yes, I did say cha cha music. I’m sure someone would hate my music too.

Super-Action Hero Training Tip: When you’ve fallen off the horse, try a class to get back on it. Find one you don’t have to sign up for multiples and just have fun trying something new.

 

When I’d lost about 50 pounds I tried Jillian Michaels’ 30-Day Shred. I thought I would die just from doing the jumping jacks. I wouldn’t do it in front of my husband, because I knew I looked pathetic.

Eventually, I got comfortable enough to do it in front of him, and he joined me. For a few months we got up early and jumped around to “the mean lady.”

It was still not easy, but certainly easier after working at it on and off for a year. We stuck to the Beginner level, and I used 3-pound weights; he used 8-pound weights.

As things like this do, our early morning dates with Jillian dwindled off. And then, I joined the gym and started working with Trainer Paul.

I couldn’t go to the gym on Tuesday night, but decided to try out Jillian’s Advanced level, using the 8-pound weights. I didn’t know how I’d do. Would I pass out? Would I persevere?

My husband wandered in and sat down about a third of the way into the workout. At the end I was sweaty, a little shaky, and happy. I rocked those exercises. My husband looked at me and said with a smile, “Wow–you looked really good!” and later on, he commented on the fact that my upper arms and shoulders are noticeably toned and muscular.

That’s definitely not something THIS person could have said!

Fat (Six Years Ago)