In the last few weeks I’ve seen quite a few blog posts about “cleanses” and detox diets, and I’ve become intrigued.

Sure, I’ve heard of the lemonade diet and even created the concoction once to see what it tasted like. It tasted like warm water, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. Yes, it was disgusting. And when one of my co-workers said she was doing it for two weeks I thought she was nuts, even though she said her doctor gave her his approval.

The cleanses and detoxes I’ve seen include Tosca Reno’s three-day beef bones broth cleanse, which is a basic fast supplemented by a beef & vegetable broth; Bon Appetit’s “Food Lovers’ Cleanse” which is a lot of eating–albeit clean eating; and a variety of nutritionists’ personal detoxes that include green smoothies, green tea, and other greenish things.

I’ve struggled with my eating habits lately. Some weeks I do fine, but others I fall off the wagon, hard. And I’m sick of it. I realized late Thursday night I wanted to kick-start my year with a detoxing cleanse of my own. This would be one that my husband would take part in, so it would need to be reasonable, nutritious, and hell of a lot more than warm water with herbs. It would need to be simple food, and most importantly, I wanted results. I envisioned us feeling refreshed, healthy, and wanting to continue on our healthy path.

Wondering about the results of the “diets” I turned to my Weight Watchers community, asking them if anyone had tried the two I mentioned by name above.

Bad wording choice. Instead of responses from people who’d tried them I received about ten responses from women who hadn’t tried them and lectured me instead on how bad they were for one’s colon and how if I just drink water and follow the “GHG’s” (good health guidelines) I’d be back to normal in no time. And they’re right–if I do eat clean and drink water, I’m GREAT.

Problem is, I still have the food brain of a fat woman. I love cheese. Ice cream. Wine. Pizza. Tortilla chips. Steak. French fries. Cheese burgers. Doughnuts. Maybe what I need to cleanse is my mind.

So my question is, how do I cleanse my mind?