Archives for the month of: August, 2011

Tonight I signed the paperwork to have a trainer twice a month. My plan is this will keep me accountable and showing up.

My trainer’s name is Paul. He just moved here three weeks ago from Ohio and is about 24 years old and as sweet and earnest as you can imagine a 24-year old new to California would be.

I think we were both mortified to have to take my measurements:

Weight? 196
BMI? 30.5 “That’s obese!” cheerfully proclaims my Wii.
Chest: 42″ (in sports bra)
Abdomen: 44″ (at belly button, *not* my waist)
Hips: 47.5″ (at widest part of butt)
Upper arm: 13″
Forearm: 9.5″
Thigh: 22″

He also measured neck (13.5″) and calf. Since I was wearing pants I’m not including my calf in this progress check.

As he stretched his arms wide to accommodate my girth all I could wonder was, how awful would it have been 75 pounds ago?


After a false-start yesterday in which I took Ringo (my four-year old bruiser) to the club closest to me only to learn they don’t have a “Kids Club” after noon on Saturdays, or at all on Sundays, we made it to the gym.

I like it.

This In-Shape facility is new and everyone seems happy. It’s big. It’s clean. And Ringo absolutely adores the Kids Club, which means I can’t fall back on needing to watch him as an excuse not to go–not when the kids section stays open until 9pm during the week.

I need to build muscle. My plan is to do a 20-minute cardio warmup followed by working on the weight machines, three times a week.

Today I got on the treadmill in the “Cardio theater” and stayed on for only 15 minutes. I was too excited about the weight machines to do that boring cardio stuff. After I stopped walking my legs were rubbery and it felt like the floor was moving below me.

Off to the weight machines.

Did I mention that no one’s required to run through the machines with you first? I had a bit of an idea of what I was doing, but thank god for the pictures and instructions clearly posted on each machine. I watched a lot of people, too, to see what they were doing and how they were adjusting machines.

Today I worked on arms and shoulders. Especially my triceps. A few hours later and they are already sore.

Sydney Bristow has great arms. Will my “bat wings” go away if I work extra hard on that area?


I fall down a lot. I’ll be running to a meeting, already late, everyone’s in the room–I’m at the door, and wham! I fly into the room. Face first. Luckily, I do it so much I can usually bounce right up with a smile and say, “I’m okay! Don’t worry about me.”

Business meetings don’t go so well when started by an obese 40-year-old-business-woman projectile. No one wants to see that. There’s embarrassment all around.

You know what would be great? If, as I began to fall, I could throw myself into a somersault instead.

Or maybe, not fall at all.

But, being fat, and a klutz, I’m prone to tripping, falling, stumbling, and looking like a giant boob. I would love to have the confidence and easy grace of Sydney Bristow, Jennifer Gardner’s athletic, tough character on Alias. She boxes, throws roundhouse kicks, can run flat out for ten minutes, rappel down walls, jump out of airplanes…well, I can stay on the planes.

I’ve got one problem. Okay, two. I’m fat. And I’ve never been athletic. Or even slightly interested in physical fitness. I was involved in sports in junior high–field hockey, track, and cheerleading. But I wasn’t very good at any of them, and coaches only liked enthusiasm when it resulted in winning. By senior year I was on the B-squad of the physically taxing badminton team. In college the most exercise I got was on the dance floor Friday nights. And after graduation, I got a really comfortable couch….

So, on the near-eve of my 41st birthday, I’m taking action.

I’ve joined a gym.

The question is, will I prevail? Or will this wanna-be Sydney Bristow end up just watching Alias reruns on her old, comfy couch and calling it a day?